A Voice for Survivors: Bob Welch and the Boy in the Mirror, Jim Bartko.

STORY / 23.10.24 / 14 min read
by Michele Battistioli

Bob Welch, author of the book Boy in the Mirror, shares his experience telling the story of Jim Bartko, former athletic director that publicly revealed his history as a victim of abuse when he was a child.
A Voice for Survivors: Bob Welch and the Boy in the Mirror, Jim Bartko.
Canva AI, Michele Battistioli


See that reflection in the mirror.


A boy wearing a tie stares down into nothingness. Behind him, a man all dressed in black stands with a collar and a book: the cover of Boy in the Mirror speaks volumes by itself.


This interview with Bob Welch sheds some light on how to tell the story of a survivor of sexual abuse, with its implications, challenges, and achievements, as well as understanding how to approach such sensitive topics.


Bob Welch is the author of more than 20 books and a former columnist at The Register-Guard, with multiple awards. Among his books, “American Nightingale” was an Oregon Book Award finalist, Saving My Enemy: How Two WWII Soldiers Fought Against Each Other and Later Forged a Friendship That Saved Their Lives, and Boy in the Mirror, about the story of Jim Bartko.


After revealing to the public that he had been repeatedly abused by a priest when he was a child, Jim Bartko started writing the book with Bob Welch, acclaimed author and columnist, to tell the story of what happened to him, and how he managed to build a fulfilling life despite those traumatic events. It is to tell people who have been or are currently in similar situations that there is hope for them.


Before starting with the interview, let’s get to know the protagonist of this story:


Jim Bartko has been the athletic director of the California State University of Fresno and the University of Oregon, where he started as regional director and fundraiser. In 2017 he publicly revealed that he had been abused by a catholic priest when he was a child, after more than 40 years of silence. He created the Jimmy Bartko Child Abuse and Scholarship fund, and he collaborated with author Bob Welch to write the book Boy in the Mirror, talking about his experience as a sexual abuse survivor.


1.   What was your role in the process of writing this book?


Jimmy came to me because he needed someone to write the book for him since the story about him being abused had already gone public.

At first, I didn’t have any interest in partnering with him and creating the book, since I was busy working at the newspaper in Eugene.

However, after sitting down with him for around 90 minutes and hearing his story, I was impressed by his courage. I said to myself:

  

If his story is not told, it’s more likely some other little kid is going to get abused just like he did. If I can play a small part in this, then I want to do that. And I don’t regret it at all.


I believe we started working on the book in late September of 2018.

In the evenings I would just go to his apartment, have dinner together, and then he would start telling me his story.

We spent hundreds of hours together; the book was supposed to take one year but instead, it wound up taking 18 months.

 

2.  How did you approach the topic, and how did you feel about writing a book related to abuse?


It wasn’t a feel-good experience, obviously. As a newspaper columnist, editor, and reporter for 40 years, I’ve written just about everything under the sun, as it were. I wrote columns about abuse, but certainly nothing this in-depth.

It was difficult, it was an emotional load for me. But whenever I started feeling like this was really tough, I would just think of Jimmy and I would just go: “Wait a minute, man, you’re not going through anything. All you have to do is sit there and listen to the story, and then write it up in a book.”

Being a writer is a bit like being a detective. You basically find the pieces in the puzzle and start putting the thing together. Compared to some of my other books, where I talked about war and other topics, Bartko’s book was easier in terms of gathering the information, since I was talking to the person who literally went through that abuse. But on the other hand, it was more difficult because of the emotional content of the information.


The creation process of the book was emotionally draining for me, and I think it was hard for him as well. But, in a way, it was necessary. We had to do this.


Boy in the Mirror was difficult in getting it just right. The title was Jimmy’s, and he loved it.

He made it very clear that there were two Jimmy Bartkos: the man and the boy, a now and a then. Everywhere he went, both went. I started the book with him putting on a big event to raise money for the University of Oregon, and he managed to do that. He has done his job; he’s revered and he’s a good human being.

He goes to the bathroom, splashes water on his face, and looks at the mirror. And suddenly, he’s 7 years old again; he sees his face and thinks of the incidents, 35 in one year and a half. His mood goes from the top of the world to the state of a victim.

He let this happen to him, and he never told anybody, all these kids got abused because he didn’t come out and tell his story.


He’s always both, the kid and the adult. It’s true for all of us, I think.


This was unlike any journalistic experience I’ve ever had. It was total immersion; this year and a half of hearing the most intimate details of his life and all the pain he has been through, and how he held it inside for so long, with the best of intentions.


The priest told him to not tell anybody about what happened, and he was not suggesting at all that it was a bad thing. He simply said that this is their little secret, and that confused Jimmy as a kid, confused about what is right and what is wrong. And he didn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings. But when we stay silent, the problem keeps going on.

Even when his mother asked him if he had been abused, when it was later revealed that the priest abused several children, Jimmy kept denying it. That was because he was afraid of letting his parents down, if they discovered what happened to him, and that their pain would be his fault. And then that would hurt him more, while he was already hurt enough.

Jimmy said that the reason he wanted to write this book was because he saw an article on Wikipedia about himself. It said that he was an athletic director at the university and that he had been fired for alcoholism, and that was about it.


Jim Bartko filed a claim of wrongful termination, retaliation, and discrimination against Fresno State University in June of 2018, as he believed the executives falsely accused him of alcoholism.

He also claimed that the president and vice president of the university gave him an ultimatum: if he didn’t resign of his own will, then he would be fired. The ultimatum came after revealing his past as a victim of abuse, and then he resigned in late 2017.


Jimmy believed they used his drinking as an excuse to let him go when it was really about him being “damaged goods”.


He decided that he didn’t want other people to define his life, because that person in the article did not represent him. That was not the truth, and he wanted to tell his story. This was Jimmy’s chance to finally get to tell who he really was.


That situation was extremely difficult for Jimmy since it just further eroded his confidence in himself.

It was basically doing the same thing that the abuse had done to him. Make him feel unimportant, insignificant. Make him feel like he’s the problem.


 3. When it came to the most sensitive topics, what was Jimmy’s approach when talking, and your approach while listening? Do you think the story should be more digestible for the audience, or instead be told in its full, raw power?


I let Jimmy lead on this. The turning point was when Jimmy started seeing a psychologist and the psychologist managed to get him to talk about what happened to him, and since he didn’t talk about it for about 44 years, it was huge.


It was very emotional for him to tell this story, but at the same time it was freeing and cleansing; he then gained a new sense of freedom, and it helped him get better, especially knowing that there was somebody in his corner.


He has been so lonely, to live with this horrific memory all by himself, and not even telling his closest friends.

Only one of them knew because he had been abused by the same priest.


The psychologist told me that what happened to Jimmy when he was 7 and 8 was a defining moment of his life, and this other kid went through the same thing, and through the years they became close friends and allies.

Somebody said that, in the last year of Jimmy Bartko’s life, I probably spent more time with him than anyone else. He had friends at the University of Oregon because he was such a giving and caring person.

I remember that he was at a big football game at the university, and a donor, someone who gave large amounts of money to the University of Oregon, was suddenly not feeling well, and he had left his pills out on the bus. Jimmy ran outside of the stadium, went to the bus, grabbed the guy’s pills, and brought them back for him.


I had such admiration for Jimmy, he managed to have an amazing life, although it was a dual life: the amazing one and the painful life. He shouldn’t have had to go through all that pain.

We became friends. And one of the last things I said to him, on the last day I saw him, was: “When we get back to Oregon, let’s get our golf clubs and go play some golf.”

And he said: “I would love that. That sounds fun.”


Sometimes, when I play golf, I just think about how much he missed out on, and how much he loved life. He loved people, he loved helping people. He was an amazing human being regardless of what he had been through.

They say that people who went through abuse tend to do the same to others, but Jimmy was instead a very caring individual, and we should do anything to further his memory because I believe we can help with this problem.


I want people who have been through this to realize that you don’t have to be captive of that abuse, that you can break through, and that you can still put together an amazing life, be happy and accomplish things, and be respected.


The most emotional moment was when Jimmy came forth to talk about the abuse itself. We developed some parameters, like how much you are going to tell, how much detail, and so on. At that point, we had worked together for weeks, so I think he trusted me. We both knew that it was his book, and I made sure to tell him that no word would get into it that he did not approve.


I told him that if he wanted the book to be a certain way, he would get it that way. I think he would have said that the book came out the way he wanted it to be.


Maybe the hardest thing for me in all of this was to not look at Jimmy’s situation with the eyes of a 65-year-old writer, and be able to look at it through the eyes of a scared 7-year-old boy.

The adult writer would say things like, why didn’t you tell your parents? Why didn’t you realize that what was happening to you was wrong? But when you are 7 years old, you don’t really know what is right or wrong, so you look up to adults to tell you about the difference.


I think Jimmy would be an advocate for providing information to young people that helps them navigate this dangerous world. Parents don’t want to give their children too much information, but I would agree on the side of being open and honest. It might cause some fear, but fear is not necessarily a bad thing. Fear protects us as well.


This guy is never going to be able to completely leave this monster who did this to him. In fact, I was interviewed soon after Jimmy passed away, and they asked me how I think Jimmy died.


And I said I think he was murdered by a priest over 40 years ago. That priest essentially killed him because he was unable to sleep his entire life, keeping this secret, feeling all this guilt.


He self-medicated at times, so he could sleep, and he still managed to put a life and a family together.

His story made me feel Jimmy’s pain. And again, when I started feeling bad, I would just think about what he did and what he was doing.

I thought this guy was a courageous human being. And I obviously still feel that way.


The most emotional moment was when Jimmy came forth to talk about the abuse itself. We developed some parameters, like how much you are going to tell, how much detail, and so on. At that point, we had worked together for weeks, so I think he trusted me. We both knew that it was his book, and I made sure to tell him that no word would get into it that he did not approve.


 4. What does the phrase “I bat last” mean?


In the context of the story, it meant that he got to decide on every last word of his book. He got one more chance. In Jimmy’s book, at the end, we use that phrase.


He says “I bat last”, I got the last word on this priest because I told the truth. I outed him, I did what he didn’t want me to do, which is telling this story to the public.


He would also probably say that he’s ashamed for waiting four decades to do that, but in the end, he did it.

We flew down to Oakland, California, for a press conference to announce the book and that he was filing a lawsuit against the Archdiocese of Oakland, regarding his abuse. He was really tired, and it took so much courage for him to get in front of the cameras and talk about this.


The book came out literally the day after COVID-19 was officially declared a pandemic by the World Health Organization.

I remember being in my hotel room and reading about this. The next morning was Jimmy’s conference, so the book never got much traction.


We flew back home, and four days later he died. He was working out and he collapsed, went to the hospital, and there he died of liver failure.

He had become a friend to me, by that point, and suddenly he was gone.


A lot of news organizations did stories about his death, but the book got overlooked because they were just writing about his death, while instead what we wanted at that point was focusing on Boy in the Mirror.

Jimmy was going to be an advocate, a spokesperson for the university, which was going to partner with him, and then he would speak around the country about this topic.


Someone said the best time to plant a tree was one hundred years ago. The second-best time to plant a tree is now.


And Jimmy planted that tree, he batted last, and he got to tell people what happened. He had the satisfaction of knowing that not only did he write the book, but he also had the courage to sign the lawsuit against the Archdiocese of Oakland. He stood up for justice and people like himself.


His legacy will be one of courage and honor, and shining light on the truth, as we all need to do.



“Boy in the Mirror” can be found here

 

Listen to the full interview on Spotify 


Find out more about Bob Welch on his website

 

Check out his other books here:

https://www.bobwelchwriter.com/books-writing

https://www.bobwelchwriter.com/saving-my-enemy

 

Sources:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Bartko

https://www.bobwelchwriter.com/

https://sjvsun.com/sports/bulldogs/bartko-fresno-state-reach-settlement-on-wrongful-termination-claim/


Was this article helpful?
More stories
Upload stories, video testimonies, and articles
Uploads will be reviewed using our Content Guidelines.
Max file size 20MB. Supported files .doc, .docx, .pdf, .mp4
Enter your name (optional)
Email [ex: john@mail.com] (required)
I confirm that have read and understood the Terms of Use. I understand my email will be used to notify me about any updates on my submission and will never be shared with any third party.